The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
