No awkward lesbian experiences without me
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
