Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
