ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
