Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
