If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I see more hoeing in ur future
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
