Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
