I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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