tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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