Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
