what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize