dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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