I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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