It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
