What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
