i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
