that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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