just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
