Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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