I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
