Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Randomize
