Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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