And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
