And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
