4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
