I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
