I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
