So drunk, too bad you don't want this
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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