So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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