so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
third nipple confirmed
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
