help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
