We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
