I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
