I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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