Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
