have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
