But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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