i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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