Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
