Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize