covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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