i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize