He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
