you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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