wanna go halves on a baby?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
