He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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