But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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