If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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