went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
