Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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