Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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