I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize