I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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