I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Randomize
