And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
she pinky promised me she was 18
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
