It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
