I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
