Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
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