I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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